Saving You Money

Ok. So when I originally changed the title of my blog I had all these grand plans about what I was going to do with it. And then I never did anything at all. The idea was that I was going to save other people time/money/embarrassment by relating my relevant experiences. I also thought vaguely that if I could condense some things down to a paragraph or two that everyone OUGHT to know, but most people don't I could help them save face. Which is why I chose the title. So here goes. If you know me, you know I'm a night owl. I love the peace and quiet after my kids are in bed. Most often I just watch tv whilst my brain turns to mush. After midnight there are a lot of infomercials. I ALWAYS wonder "does it REALLY work like that?" So I figured for those of you out there that wonder too, I could tell you what I know. The Shamwow's efforts at soaking up urine out of carpet are meager at best. The first use was better that after it was washed, but nothing a Bounty paper towel couldn't handle. I cannot in good conscience recommend the Slap Chop either. After "mincing" some garlic with it, I had to do some mincing of my own with a knife. And it still smells like garlic because it is difficult to clean. I was going to throw it away, I was so mad, but I experienced my usual guilt at throwing away something that was still in the strictest meaning of the word usuable, so I put it in one of the 3 crock pots I got for my wedding so it wouldn't take up any extra space and congratulated myself on not cluttering our landfills. I get this from my mother. She won't throw away anything she thinks she can fix. Although she rarely fixes it. This might explain the meat slicer on her kitchen counter. Next, and don't ask me how I know this, but Extenze doesn't do what it says. Although I'm assuming when they say "that certain part of the male anatomy" they mean the Adam's apple. P90X will not make you look like Matthew McConaughey but if you stick with it's strict diet and work out routine, you will eventually get more toned. I do NOT recommend their recovery drink. It's disgusting. Shake Weights are a joke. And a little bit dangerous in the hands of a 3 year old. I will say however, that the Snuggie is exactly what it says it is, a blanket.....with sleeves. I can't vouch for how stylish it is, even the leopard print variety, but it does its job. So there you have it. Feel free to comment on your own experience with infomercial products.

No Title

Do you know what phrase I hate? "That's easier said than done." EVERYTHING is easier said than done, except perhaps breathing. And the phrase is always used in crazy situations, like if I was planning to break into the Pentagon and steal secret documents someone is bound to say, "You know, that's easier said than done." Of course it is! But it could also be accurately used if I was planning to go for a light jog. Or sit on the couch and watch tv for two hours. Or potty train a 3 year old. I'm going to start using it in everyday situations until people realize what a ridiculous phrase it is. Next time my friend is planning on cooking dinner for her family of four I will say, "that's easier said than done!" Just a little word of encouragement. Or if my sister is planning to take a shower, "Easier said than done." (Which if you know my sister, her showers take some serious planning and time) Or if James is going to remove someone's gall bladder, "That's way easier said than done." What is the point of the words? Are you trying to discourage someone or do think you are making an eye opening revelation? Updating my blog is much easier said than done. I say I am going to do that about every three days. Anyway to sum up everything is easier to talk about doing than to actually do. Unless you are an Ent I guess, then you can use the phrase. Now all my nerd friends are smiling and nodding their heads and all my normal friends are thinking "What? Has Marion lost her mind?" Yes, yes I have. Although I'm not sure I have any normal friends, to be completely honest.

Resolutions

I decided for one of my New Years resolutions I would finally write a post on my blog. Check.

I hope you didn't hold your breath

Here is little Joshua Michael Boyd, finally. He was born Nov. 11, 2008 at just after noon. He weighed 8 lbs 5 oz, my biggest baby. He was 19 in. long. I am sorry it took me so long, to post, but he and his siblings have been keeping me pretty busy. I'm sure most of you have NO sympathy. After all many of you have 3 or more kids and still manage to update your blogs. How DO you do it? I barely took a shower today. At 3 weeks Josh took his first airplane ride for his aunt Ally's wedding. That's what he's all dressed up for in this picture. I'd like to say I'll post more soon, but I can't make any promises.

Ah the joys of having a bun in the oven

Which by the way is a term I've never quite understood. I get the reference to something is cooking inside you, and believe me it is quite hot, but a bun? Babies are not bun-like. It should be "a monkey in the oven" or "a watermelon in the oven". But who really cooks a watermelon I guess. So some fun things I would like you all to know and empathize about. Firstly, at no other point in your life will a complete stranger feel it is appropriate to rub your belly. This is a truly one of the joys. I had some one do this in the store in passing, granted it was more of a pat, but I couldn't have been more shocked if the old lady had slapped my butt. Seriously, can I just get one of those museum signs that says please do not touch. Secondly, I can no longer get out of bed without swinging my arms and legs over my awkward body and rolling out (the swinging is meant to get the momentum going). Sometimes I forget my excess bulk when trying to stand up from the couch (or toilet) and I fall back down. I am only 5 mos pregnant this is going to get worse. Thirdly, I pee my pants more than my 4 yr. old. Pretty much every time I sneeze. Fourthly, being intimate with my significant other. Enough said. It's awkward, I'll let you use your imagination if you want to(trust me you don't). Now I'll be the first to admit there are many other joys to being pregnant including the baby at the end, but these are a few of my favorites. There I updated my blog. I'm sure you're all thrilled now you can go back to holding your breath for another 2 mos.

Excuses

Now many of you may be thinking there is NO excuse for not blogging for going on 2 months. Let me offer my meager apologies and present you with my host of excuses for my blog silence. I haven't even looked at other people's so I anticipate a late night tonight. So first my sister in law, Ally graduated and I flew out to be there, a busy week of graduation activities. Fun, but busy. Then my brother Leon safely returned from his tour in Iraq, so I was
quite excited to see him and stayed a few extra days. I was maybe not as excited as his wife, but it is good to have him home. Almost as soon as we got back from our extended stay in Utah, we had a busy week of puppy sitting while getting Abby ready for her first ever dance recital. If I was savvy enough I would put the video on here but sadly I have no clue how, so a picture of her doing what she called "becoming a flower" is the best I can do. Isn't she sweet? Even James was able to make it to the recital. Rest assured if you venture out here for a visit you will be made to watch the video. Next was my awesome 30th birthday. My sister,Eva, brother, Leon and best friend,Elesa, drove out to surprise me. I was very surprised and delighted, but as you can imagine it was a little crazy around here. This is Elesa and I at the park with our kids as you can tell (maybe) I chopped my hair off, however despite my best efforts, it is not pink, yet. We are both 30 now and I can honestly say I've known her all 30 of those years. It was a little windy that day if you can't tell. So after all that fun, I had Stephen little bug party to plan, Thanks Nicole for letting me steal all your ideas, I don't think there would have been a party without them. You'll probably think I ruined everything, but I didn't even make invitations ! I know try not to be too shocked. It turned out cute anyway. Here is my little bug enjoying his first birthday cake. As most of you probably know, he eats anything he can get his hands on and cake was no exception, he demolished that cupcake. Last but not least, perhaps after all my biggest excuse is that during this whirlwind two months I was also surprised (very) to discover that I would look like this again around mid-November. So those are my
reasons. I mean excuses. You can take them or leave them. Well you pretty much have to take them because I'm the one in charge here. That's right accept my excuses and like it! I'm going to start wearing the pants around here.

Are you a Blog Addict?

Do you find yourself linking from blog to blog reading one after another, spending hours coming up with pithy comments and losing precious time while doing so? Maybe looking for a giggle or two or a tidbit of knowledge. I have a few friends I believe to be blog addicts. I also believe there are those out there who are blog users. Now this is a much more serious offense. Blog users will visit your blog, laugh at your admittedly clever and witty publications, and then move on. The crime here is that they don't let you know how funny and clever you are by leaving a comment, or responding to a tag. They visit your site, have a good chuckle and leave you empty handed. They are effectively using you for your blog. These invisible offenders leave no trace of their crime so they are very difficult to detect. I have found the only way to do so is to bait suspected offenders in actual conversation with a question they could only know if they had been reading my blog. Like "I don't even think hijinks is a word is it? Or "Do you know the approximate population of Monaco?" Only by these wise and ingenious devices can I discover which of my supposed friends are reading my blog but not leaving a comment. I (and I'm not trying to adopt a holier-than-thou attitude here) almost always leave at least one comment to show people that their hard work on their blog is appreciated. And even if I don't think their entry was clever enough to leave a witty comment, I at least say "hey, how are you?" or "cute picture" at least something. Don't worry, I'm expecting most of my comments on this post to be "hey, how are you?" I didn't post a picture, so you can't fall back on that one you vile blog users. Take that!!!!