Ah Salespeople

I've recently read several posts about salespeople so I thought I'd add my two cents. They are pretty much worthless. I've had two experiences worth mentioning. First you should know that I live in a pretty new neighborhood so there are always people knocking on my door. It took me several weeks to learn not to answer the door. Slow I know, I just thought it would be some well wishing neighbor welcoming to the neighborhood instead I got "Hello, you look like you could use the Sports package from comcast!" Seriously? That's your best salespitch? Get off my porch. So there was one guy who was selling pest control. I open the door. He says "Hi I'm here from Insecticide." Long pause. Scans my porch. "Do you get any bugs around here?" Quite the sales man. Shoo. The worst was last summer I was getting ready to go to the airport, my bags were packed and I was doing some last min. dishes waiting for my father in law to pick me up. Those of you who know my father in law will have some inkling as to the unfortunate salesman's eventual demise. So I was washing my dishes when the doorbell rings. Assuming it's my ride, I tell Abby it's her Grandpa and to go open the door, while I dry my hands. Abs says, "Hi, come on in." What infuriates me is the guy did. On the say so of a two year old. It's just me and my kid at home. Then before I get a word out of my mouth he tries to sell me a vacuum, which he claims is worth $2000. A Kirby vac. I tell him I'm on my way to the airport and don't have the time. By this time he has fully assembled a vacuum in my front hall. Lightening speed I tell you. Then he begins vacuuming. All you salesmen out there a word of advice. Don't come in a house where there is only one woman at home. Don't try to make a sale while someone is leaving for the airport. He also invites his partner in. Creepy. By this time I'm very frustrated and nervous and I just want them to leave. And it shows. Fortunately for me this is about when Steve shows up. Unfortunately for them. They also make the poor decision of trying to sell him a vacuum. To make a long story short he tosses them out on their rears. The other sales guy worth mentioning is my favorite. He was selling magazines to earn money for his college education. After explaining this he asks me "so is your Mom here?" With a perfectly straight face I say, "no sorry, she's out of town." And close the door. Sorry this is so long, but you're the one who's reading it. Hope you enjoy.